listen to your body

It's amazing what your body can tell you if you just sit still and listen.

The past 2 weeks or so I've really been trying to attune myself to my body and what it's silently telling me.  If it craves eggs, I whip up an omelet - if it wants a kiwi, I cut up a kiwi.  

I've noticed you can train your body to crave certain things, but at some point it's still going to ache for things your head says 'no' to, at this point - I think it's ok to give in a little.

The other day, I was craving belgian pancakes with dark belgian chocolate and strawberries on top.  I indulged, with no remorse.  Afterwards, I was full all day - but because it had been so many hours, I opted to get lunch - a soup, 1/2 a sandwich, and a carrot cupcake (stupid stupid whim) - I wasn't even craving any of this!  After the soup and sandwich, I was stuffed, but I forced down the cupcake anyways b/c I was upset and bored.  "Silly girl!" - my body screamed via stomach aches the rest of the day.  

Later that day, I had an intense want to swim.  In the middle of winter, with ice and snow covering the ground, I walked home from the pool with wet hair feeling  invigorated.

This post is going all over the place - but basically, it's important to listen to your body.

It's interesting, we often push our bodies to the point of no return.  We get exhausted, we starve ourselves, we binge on the shittiest food, and then finally our body collapses on us.  We get sick, we feel lethargic and all we can do is just fall into our beds and sleep a sound utter sleep, and wake up to more sleepiness.

Proper rest, healthy foods, and a happy mind are key to a healthy body.  - Believe me, I know how hard it is to follow this concept, easy as it may sound, but just think of how much happier we would all be if we did!

conversations with a boy

boy: so are you my girlfriend yet?

me: no no - i can't be your girlfriend..i'll be your friend who's a girl...your friend-girl hah!

later that night..

boy: you're the best friend-girl ever!

i'm a fan of boy.

mercury in my cheez-its.

130 pm - cilantro, greens, and pineapple juice + 1 raw oreo cookie

300 - cut up zucchini sticks, carrot sticks, broccoli florets, red bell pepper sticks with tad of ranch dressing

around the same time: bit of tabouli + mozzarella cheese grated (very little)

430 - small bowl of lentils

930 - warm cashew milk with crushed raw cacao beans

feelings: full, satisfied, healthy, happy.

food really does make a difference.

With the latest study on HFCS (high-fructose corn syrup) , we really can't be sure of what is safe on our grocers' shelves.  Gone are the days where Goldfish Crackers and Chips Ahoy cookies were a legitimate after-school snack. Skeptics out there will say, "Everything in moderation" and "I ate that as a child and I'm fine."  To them all I have to say is, talk to me when you're 65.  While it is sad that our favorite food memories are now defaced with words such as carcinogenic, mercury, trans-fat, and the like, I feel that it is time for this change.  We are an indulgent country.  No other country in the world eats the way the majority of Americans do (yet).  We must limit these indulgences, or create a new society of children and adults who look towards other items as indulgences.  I look forward to the day when a brownie made from raw aztec cocoa nibs, almonds, sesame seeds, and agave syrup is considered the norm; when our local groceries are completely stocked up with Flax Seed crackers, chia seeds, and hemp granola; when a school cafeteria lunch serves 8 oz of almond milk, rich salads, raw pizzas, and green juices!  When our movie theaters offer fresh fruit smoothies and dried fruit and nuts instead of sugar laden slurpees and "butter" laden popcorn.  That will be the day that America will truly change, our children will be free of disease, and our dependance on government-funded health care will be obliterated.

s.a.d.d.

i miss summer desperately.

i miss the heat, i miss the clothes, i miss being able to sit outside with an iced green tea in too-big sunglasses while people watching.  

i miss falling asleep in my sun-room with the door locked, and then waking up an hour later, completely drenched in sweat from all the sun and heat locked up in the room.

i miss playing basketball, badminton, soccer, and riding my scooter all throughout the neighborhood.

i miss humid night walks, where the sounds of the crickets were so loud that you had to speak up in the darkness to be heard.  I even miss mosquito bites received from running in too tall grass in too short shorts! Red itchy bumps covering my ankles and calves symbolizing July.

i miss the neighborhood water ice shop, where the line went out the door and you are bound to run into someone you knew from highschool.

I miss chocolate soft serve in a cone, dripping down my wrist, my arm, then my elbow till it finally drip drip drips on the hot gravel road.

i miss humid nights and sweat-inducing days and cool pools and wet hair air-drying in the summer sun.

i. miss. summer.

rain

My biggest heartaches have been followed by rain.

big, wet, rain drops, covering train tracks, busy streets, and traveling mattresses on top of SUVs.

there's always rain

and i'm a big fan of symbolism.

i really like...

i really like the fact that there's a chance to flirt anytime i go out.  i like options.

i think this is why relationships scare me...b/c then I won't be able to do that anymore..i'll only be able to kiss 1 guy, to bring 1 guy back home, and flirtations with the guy you see day in and day out gets pretty hackneyed.

so i guess it comes down to 2 things:  do i want a committed relationship where someone is always around to hang out with or...do i want random flirtations++ and physical connections that last for a few months each.

honestly...i'm really not sure.  

A relationship is like a really good healthy meal - succulent salmon, perfectly sauteed spinach, wild rice - everything tastes great and you feel good after you eat it, knowing you made a good mature decision.  

but..i've often been the instant gratification type...dessert before dinner, hell dessert FOR dinner.  i want my triple chocolate chip cookie sundae - even though I know I'll feel disgusting after I eat it.

Man..it would be great to find a 100 calorie cookie that tastes as decadent as the real thing....

Maybe I'm just hungry...

Indulge - Less

So this may be something really cool and grow, or it may just be a slew of blogs; but I had this idea today that I can't get out of my head.

I think, as a society, especially as a 20-something city-dweller, we indulge in a lot of habits that aren't necessarily good for us.  So, in an effort to be aware of my addictions, and hopefully tone them down if not obliterate them, I'm going to try removing indulgences from my life one week at a time.  

What I mean by this is that each week I will take some thing, habit, or event out of my life that I generally always have, do, or attend, respectively.  After the week is up, I'll bring it back into my life...but hopefully with a bit more awareness.

So far this is my list of things:

- Chocolate

- Take-out

- Restaurants

- Mojitos/Alcohol

- Blackberry Internet Plan

- E-mail

- Facebook

- Internet

- Sugar

- Dairy 

- TV

- Men - no Contact! for a week ?  and no talking about them for a week!

- Clubs/Lounges/Etc

- Hook-ups - I don't hook-up every week...so maybe I'll make this a month long goal...um..or maybe just a 2 week goal

- Complaining

- Feeling Sad

- Reminiscing

- Getting Angry

That's all I have so far.  It's kind of like Lent I suppose, or even a detox.  I need a little detox from my lifestyle.

In other news, I had milk the past 2 days for the first time in a while, and now I'm feeling sick.  This basically proves to me that Milk does NOT do a body good - and I'm going to attempt soy milk, almond milk, and the like from now on.  The interesting thing is that yogurt, milk's sibling of sorts, does not have this sickly effect on me. This is most likely because of the bacteria in yogurt and the way it is made.

I'm fascinated.  I will start my life detox next week.  First thing to go - Chocolate....

revisions ++

i've been reading the same thing over and over for the past 3 weeks - editing here, revising there, deleting whole paragraphs, then putting them back in - now i just feel like i'm reading lines of jibberish, i'm dissecting it so much that it's lost its jist.

sometimes the first draft is the best.

tiresome

ny - with its raucous crowd of pedestrians who seem to feel they are allowed to say whatever they want to whomever - is starting to get more than just a little under my skin.

no i will not smile, random drunken collegiate on the street.

yes i will give you an 'attitude'-esque look - frightening girl who stands in the middle of sidewalk blocking my way

don't push me don't shove me stopstopstopstop.

i'm tired of yelling at strangers, at rude cab drivers, at horrible waitresses who don't deliver my food for hours and then deliver the wrong items.

i'll take park avenue and 5th - with its delicious avant garde couture ensembles; shoes dripping with swarovski, bags from bendel, fabulous fendi, glamourous gucci!  

everything else is irritating.  random hipsters peeing on sidewalks, screaming drunks ruining my slumber, rude rude people everywhere! 

kitschy used to be cool until it got old.

2009

stop dwelling on the past.

tis the goal of the year and thus my blog may be showcasing some changes.  the typical 'woe is me' posts may or may not be replaced with posts of a varying variety.  

but for my emo-readers out there, don't worry - i'm sure a few tear-jerkers will still make it on these pages.

happy '09~!