dull ache

i have this dull ache in my heart that isn't going away.

its there - in the back - constantly aching. it's better than it was. i can get through the day without crying now. I can get up and do things without constantly coveting a year ago. I can be practical and understand that this is for the absolute 100% best.

but nevertheless, there is a dull ache inside of my heart - its dull, barely audible now, just slowly gnawing away at my over-emotional entity, wishing someone would hear it and make it go away with bouts of affection and kept promises.

but no. the dull ache continues, slowly and carefully plucking away at the sutured strings of my broken broken heart.

descriptive tmi.

-if i drink alcohol when i'm on my period, i have cramps that feel as if someone cut me open and poured alcohol on my uterus.
-when i have cramps these days, i lie down and put my computer/warm battery charger on my stomach to ease the pain
-i cry
-i curse
-i eat nothing all day and then indulge in chocolate at night
-i become irresponsible
-tired
-nauseaus/dizzy
-a bit depressed
-have the need to clean and organize every thing in sight (pre .)
-all this for a . !?

lame.