mental or physical

i don't know if its mental or physical, but I feel so much better when I stay away from meat-products.

yesterday, I had some green tea pannacotta and chocolate pudding - both were made with eggs and at least one was made with cream.  I also had a salmon maki roll.  The rest of the day my stomach was decidedly in knots.

This morning, I woke up craving a juicy green drink or a salad or something with vitamins, minerals, and water-filled greens.

I purchased a green raw greek salad with avocado and felt alive.  Afterwards, I bought a raw chocolate bar - truth be told, I prefer non-raw chocolate, but I do not prefer the stomachache I get after eating it - so the raw chocolate bar provided me with the antioxidants, nut-protein, and cocoa I needed to quell my craving.

It's really hard for me to save money when there is so much good good food to devour.  I am trying really hard - I think I'm doing a decent job of it.

anyways - back to raw.  I don't know if it's a mental thing, and I'm just getting 'pretend' aches from meat products, but I just feel so good and awake eating 'live' foods.

Plus its hot now, so salads are back in style.

I will attempt the rest of the week in a raw/vegan lifestyle (vegan meaning, maybe some cooked veggies, and possibly veggie sushi rolls, and definitely alcohol of the vino-variety)

will post my thoughts on this next week.

moppy hair and freckles

in route to hoboken, standing on the path, I look down and see below me a short person about 22 years younger than me discussing submarines, bridges, and sunglasses with his father.

This person has a mop of curls covering his head, piercing blue eyes, and possibly freckles.

Dad: So the subway is like the bridge but underwater

little person: like a submarine?

Dad: exactly - it's like we're in a submarine

little person: oo that's weird

Dad: haha true it is kinda weird

other conversations ensued - as I eavesdropped.  

At one point, this wobbly, fairly new to walking, person's head grazed against my forearm and the softest hair i'd ever felt brushed against me.  4 year old product-less and innocent curly moppy hair.

At that moment, I wanted a little person of my own with soft hair to discuss submarines with...my eyes teared up, the subway stopped, and i hurried off to reach my other kid-free 20-somethings and forget about my random urge to procreate.   

i'm probably ovulating, hence the urge.

i need someone new to kiss

I need someone new to kiss.

I'm tired of the same mouth, the same taste, the same hands pulling at my clothes, the same body resting next to mine.

Some say familiarity is comforting - I say its boring.

I'm bored.

Isn't it sad - once you're married or in a long relationship, where does the initial fire go?  That 'got to have you now' feeing only remains for a bit I think...after that I'd think things get too comfortable and boring.  Then again, what do I know?  

All I know is

I need someone new to kiss - I'm getting bored.

i love being busy

i love being busy doing stuff i enjoy doing.

6 months ago i was doing work that, while not horrible, was not exactly what i wanted.

now - the work is plentiful, the hours are unstructured, and the management, while nice, is a bit crazy - - yet i LOVE it. i LOVE it, i LOVE it.  Even when it gets to be too much, even when everything I do doesn't get accolades, I love it b/c it's so me.  

The perfect blend of computer science with art and writing - who would've thought?

It is 1256 - and I am working - I do not get overtime - and I do not care. 

In other news, a well-known magazine read my online articles and wants me to write for them.  

Is this career heaven?  I think so.

fafsa

fafsa and saving $ is like an adventure - saving money and noticing prices ...interesting.

i sound like a brat.

but that's because i am.

well, was.

now i'm a grad-school impending adult.

ya!

scary faced dreams

you look mean in my dreams

like a mean man with bad intentions, your face in my dreams has the scowl i remember and shudder away from

sometimes my dreams show you as kind, like i remember you to be years ago

then i miss you

but the mean looking you in my most recent dream scares me away

i run away in these dreams, i keep running and running till you leave, my subconscious taking another turn in my REM state of mind

i keep running but you keep coming up 

randomly

everywhere

from city to city to dream to dream to email to picture, i see you. 

i just want to feel. Apathy.

an oxymoron indeed.

londonians

London males are just like American males except their accents make everything they say sound dignified and gentlemanly.

If a guy from london wants to kiss you he asks, in perfectly Prince William-esque articulation, "Would it be quite alright if we were to kiss now?"

When a londonian male wants to say a certain group of girls from a certain location are hot, he might say something like, "Girls from Essex are really nice."

Londonian males get away with a lot because the accent is hard to get mad at.

Except when a londonian says the following: Are you going to take my friend home with you, because I do think you should, he quite fancies you.

This is when Londonian males turn into typical boys and it's time for me to go home.

But not before they hail me a cab and I divert from the commonplace cheek kiss.

I'm an American and not just anyone gets to kiss these cheeks, cultural norms be damned.