1st date

i hate 1st dates -

i hate 1st dates with weird ppl that talk about themselves.

i miss last year circa this time. i was happy and in love.

now i'm miserable, out of love and going on dates with weird ppl that talk about themselves and talk with their chopsticks

why do all the weirdos like me? staring at me with googly eyes as i sit as far away as humanly possible, my eyes desperately trying to catch the attention of the waitress, hoping she'll understand this sign of dating distress.

'do you want to go to another place for a drink'
'no. no. no i do not. - I have a conference call at 11 pm with south africa'

i get creative when i lie.

when will it get better -PLEASE.

when? i hate dating.

i hate dating.
i hate how cynical and negative i've become.
i hate that i date and all i think about is the good times i had with someone else..even though it wasn't just all good times.

trying to be happy - but stuck in quicksand looking for a way up and out.