Me: Do you smoke up...every day?
Doctor-to-Be #1: What! I'm not an addict just b/c I smoke-up - besides I smoke cigarettes after b/c they keep me awake and in the zone
Me: Don't you have work tomorrow...
Doctor-to-Be #1: Yeah pretty early actually, but no surgeries, I just stitch some people up sometimes.
Doctor-to-Be #2: It's so gross! The women's breasts were swinging like pendulums b/c she's old and they were sagging.
Me: Um...isn't that kind of insensitive for you to be saying about your own patient?
Doctor-to-Be #2: hahah yeah I guess...but still dude - it's so gross! hahah
Doctor-to-Be #3: i can't believe they didn't let her in to the club
Me: Yeah dude..pretty lame, they didn't let that guy in either for the same reason
Doctor-to-Be #3: Oh well he definitely shouldn't have been allowed in!
Me: Um..why? He did the same thing as the girl..
Doctor-to-Be: Yeah...but still...
Me: But still..what?
Doctor-to-Be: hey, wanna get some donuts?
Doctor-to-Be #4: So do you want to get some wine?
Me: Yeah - sure
Doctor-to Be #4: Just to let you know, I drink..but I don't want anyone to know so if we could just keep this between us, that'd be awesome.
Me: Um..I don't know anyone you know...but all right..
So there you have it - a smoking weed-addicted 2nd year resident, an insensitive 1st year resident, a hypocritical 'unable to form complete thoughts' 2nd year med-student, and a very strange, somewhat anxious PHd student.
My Goal for the future: Never get sick.