Saturday, August 28, 2010

one day

one day i'll be happy

one day i'll be married to someone who loves me just as i am

one day i'll have babies and

one day those babies will grow up into tweens, then teens, then young adults, then adults

and they'll come to me with their angst and i'll tell them

one day you'll be fine and happy and all of this will be hilarious

just like one day all my angst will be hilarious to me

one day, one day

one day soon.

Monday, August 2, 2010

apples on the ground

just because i didn't get my 1st pick of apple on my first try, doesn't mean i should give up and settle with an apple that is rolling around in the mud.

in indian culture, the idea of healing after a heartbreak is a bit less understood, and the idea of a 28 year old female needing time to heal is appalling.

as i yell to be heard over the deafening sound of my ticking biological clock that seems to ring only louder as each respective non-related aunt or uncle ask me about my romantic goals of the future and recommend males who are my absolute antithesis, the anxiety piles up and I get caught in the whirlwind of expectations and fear.

Expectations that I have not met.
Fear that I will cross the forbidden threshold of 30, my ticking clock slowly dying out, along with questions of my goals, as I am now perceived as a lost cause.

And yet - my only fear is that I will never find the one, who likes me....just as I am.

over dramatic.
lover of chocolate.
sickly emotional.
against mud-dripping apples.