Tuesday, October 12, 2010


me: its just i get sad

Lobster: and you will for a while
and youll be sad that hes not sad
and youll get sad becuase youre lonely
but you eventually get over it
and make out with some more old friends
and find someone you love
and it might end again
and suck
but usually it happens and you find someone you marry

me: aw
i will blog that

help me.

i'm so sad.

i don't even know what to do anymore.

i'm just sad. and i've been sad since may.

please help me somebody.

but no one can help me.

no one can help me - the sadness is all-consuming.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Thank God

I'd like to start off with a quick note: The below blog will make me sounds like a judgmental extremist type of girl. I honestly don't want to sound that way - and I understand everyone thinks differently...but this is how i feel today - so yes.

I was born on the west coast.

If I had stayed there, how would my life be like?

West Coast Sikhs are almost always much less into Sikhi than East Coast Sikhs.

They don't know the history or the reasonings behind our religion, our culture. They aren't taught. They are instead taught to conform. Conform to Western values and Western identity. Adapt so you can find a job and be accepted.

My middle name means Lioness. A Sikh man's middle name means Lion. One of the reasons for this is because we are supposed to be strong, to face adversity and to stand out.

A Sikh man living in the United States stands out because of his physical identity. This is why the majority of my Sikh male friends are strong and confident, attractive souls. They have to be. When you are different, in the crowd of shorn and shaggy hair, you have to stand out with your crown - upright and proud.

It makes me so sad when people decide, they do not care enough, or are not brave enough, to keep the identity. The identity that people have died to preserve.

To this, I blame their surroundings. California, with its adapting fearful souls, its sheep. The ones who don't teach the lessons of Sikhi to their children, who don't understand the beauty and the gift we are given by our Gurus.

It makes me so sad. And yet, what can we do? If you don't know why you should care about something, then you won't care. If you surround yourself by people who don't have similar values then eventually you will adapt.

I have white friends, asian friends, black friends, Hindu friends - and there have been times when even they have been shocked that someone Sikh has decide to cut their hair. This! Is because to them Sikh = long haired or bearded/turbaned man/woman. And this! is because to them this is the norm - because even they have been taught - and for this I am glad.

However, in the West coast - instead when a Sikh man cuts his hair - he gets Facebook comments from his all non-Sikh community that say things like 'you look good!' 'nice job!' To which I want to SCREAM. and say NO YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. however, that won't be understood...because to them, it doesn't matter. To them it was a burden and to them it is now lifted to reveal an awful and depressing buzz cut, a naked chin - remnants of nothing.

So to this - all I can say is - I am grateful that those who do understand and care about the religion still keep the faith going.

The others - I feel sad for because you don't even know what you're missing and how wonderful it is to be Gursikh.

Friday, October 8, 2010

oh that dorothy parker

dorothy parker has a poem about a woman waiting for the phone to ring - you can read it here: http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/teleycal.html

it embarrassingly and quite accurately describes a woman's angst/psychosis. It's interesting b/c this poem was probably written in the 20s/30s and yet this same psychosis still happens to woman of 2010 and will probably continue to happen for years to come.

we have grown and adapted so much and yet, love and lust and sheer anxiety over the affections of the opposite sex are still things that cause the most human emotion, that result in box office movies, best selling novels and countless well-read (or unread) blog postings.

I wonder sometimes, as we continue to progress in society, will this anxious, love-sick genre of women diminish? Will heartache after heartache adapt the modern woman into a stoic emotionless apathetic species?

Darwin's survival of the fittest theory is accurate often - is survival of the heartaches the next adapted breed of women in the future?

if that's the case, adapt without me please.

and honestly...

my money's on the dorothy's of the world.

Friday, October 1, 2010

oh socrates

"For now, just think of death as a transformation - a bit more radical than puberty, but nothing to get particularly upset about. It's just one of the body's changes. When it happens, it happens. The warrior neither seeks death nor flees from it.

His face grew more somber before he spoke again. 'Death is not sad; the sad thing is that most people don't really live at all.'"