Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
i hate 1st dates with weird ppl that talk about themselves.
i miss last year circa this time. i was happy and in love.
now i'm miserable, out of love and going on dates with weird ppl that talk about themselves and talk with their chopsticks
why do all the weirdos like me? staring at me with googly eyes as i sit as far away as humanly possible, my eyes desperately trying to catch the attention of the waitress, hoping she'll understand this sign of dating distress.
'do you want to go to another place for a drink'
'no. no. no i do not. - I have a conference call at 11 pm with south africa'
i get creative when i lie.
when will it get better -PLEASE.
when? i hate dating.
i hate dating.
i hate how cynical and negative i've become.
i hate that i date and all i think about is the good times i had with someone else..even though it wasn't just all good times.
trying to be happy - but stuck in quicksand looking for a way up and out.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
had a reasonably nice conversation
he jotted his email and phone on my case
i decided to email
he requested a meeting and ended the exchange with, 'excited to see you'
2 thoughts come to mind:
1 - how can you be excited to see me? you barely know me.
2-pretty glad i didn't look my usual 'half asleep' self that morning on the train
final note - this is going completely against my 'before 30' business plan...but...we all make a few detours before finally getting there i suppose.
final final note - this will be my first '1st date' since may of 2009 when i thought i had finally found the person who would be my last 1st date. but - i'm going with ease b/c there is no potential here.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
write a 3 line start-up plan (business or otherwise)
Identify your first 3 key actions
Identify and defend your 3 most crucial resources.
Use the 'framework' of the fundamentals as a reference point in doing this.
#2 – My Before-30 Plan
My plan to get married before I’m 30 is very important to me.
My 3 key actions will be to not waste my time with those quintessential ‘bad boys’, keep an open mind and never force something to work even though I know deep down it is not working.
My 3 most crucial resources are my faith, my humor and my sheer positivity; with these resources I will be able to work towards my goal without falling into hopelessness.
Friday, December 3, 2010
today - bagel to ease the queasy stomach + green tea
will workout tonight and eat sparingly.
will also attempt to stop procrastinating through various online channels.
in other news - i've never really thought this way before - but i'm ready for 2010 to be done - who's with me?
in other news - a reikhi man/psychic told me he felt very strong signs/aura of a marriage in my future. he said this in may after a fresh break-up and said it would be in 6-8 months. not that i'm a believer, but..i kinda am. so! 6 months would have been november. 8 would be january. november was not appropriate..and i frankly don't see january being any better.
so maybe psychic ability is all b.s. - but that being said i do believe in reikhi and positive vibes. i don't think i necessarily have to train to give out positive vibes - i just will give them.
so on a completely unrelated note - i am giving out positive vibes right now to someone i love very very much, and hoping they heal quickly and successfully.
Here's hoping God or the Universe is listening...
Thursday, December 2, 2010
a few spoons of nf yogurt with a sprinkle of granola and a handful of berries
starbucks oatmeal with raisins and almonds + 1/2 a cup green tea (note: this is a gross combination)
nonfat no-whip hot chocolate (tall)
wild rice with veggies in a thai-curry
no gym today - too sore
and that's all folks.