random thought

my last relationship made me lose faith in my abilities and my intellect. that loss of faith is still kind of there except i notice it more and stop myself. isn't it weird how one relationship can you change your esteem so drastically? i don't even blame the person i was with, i blame myself! for being so easily molded. it's embarrassing and its also a life lesson. since then, i sometimes find myself talking to ppl with the expectation that they won't take me seriously. i even find myself laughing at myself just to laugh b/c i'm so used to being taken unseriously. that's a serious issue.

but i've been working on it - gaining back my confidence slowly and effectively - and thanking God every step of the way - not only for ending that experience, but for allowing me to have it to learn from.