stunned to tears

it's not that i miss you

or want you back

that's not why i cry from time to time

i cry because i'm stunned

i'm stunned at the cruelty 

from someone who said he loved me

i'm stunned to tears

even now 

after four years

i'm just stunned that someone could do this to me -  the feeling forms in the pit of my stomach, making me nauseous and sweaty, reaches to my throat, and usually i can hold it there, but sometimes it spontaneously erupts and out flow a stream of stunned tears.

after you, i cry easily.  

i want just 1 more chance to see you so I can express all of this vocally, but i think if i saw you i would use fruitless words like 'asshole' 'jerk' 'douchebag' - and those don't express anything except anger, which is just a tablespoon of the emotions that have ensued.

perhaps i'll simply email you a 1-liner:  "20somethingprose.blogspot.com"

then you'd see for yourself, how awful you've made me feel.