i just did something really dumb.
and super emotional.
all based on a dream and a lazy friday night where i had nothing better to do but remember.
and now its saturday afternoon, and with ani difranco ringing in my ears and my ovulated state reaching its peak, i decided to do something irrational, ridiculous and really dumb.
most likely, it will amount to nothing and no one will be the wiser.
most likely, my perception of you will stay the way it has for the past 5 years.
my perception that you are an asshole.
but i can't help that 2% of me, that hyper-sensitive, overly hormonal, side of me that is hoping maybe i'll see the you i've missed. The '2001 to mid 2005' You. The one I miss and mourned for like a life lost, a time lost, a friendship lost, a love lost.
but as the clock ticks on that 2% of me fades again, and my hyper sensitivity gives way to a flow of crimson red, that washes out my insides, including the part of me that still feels for you.
until next month, perhaps - though i wish it wasn't so.
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2 comments:
what did you do?
Aw J, I really like your poetic voice in this. Keep it up so I have more to read. On the other hand, I hope your emotional struggles are at a minimum in the future.
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