hair

my hair is virgin hair.

long and free flowing, dark brown, past my hip bone it flows.

shines when conditioned correctly and soft with the right $200 strengthening product.

i love my hair - it is my signature.

'the girl with the long hair'

i braid it, i pull it up into a chignon, and sometimes do a simple and messy bun

but it's best when it's down and flowing.

scissors scare me and salons are not my friend.

mousse and gel and hairspray are a big no, no , no.

just free flowing freshly washed hair that's been air-dryed - 

that's the only way i go.

stomach hurts

i've been a laze and have skipped the gym for 6 days 

today i barely ate but everything i did eat made my stomach hurt.

stomach hurts and body misses my weights - i shall resume my progress tomorrow.

till then - adieu.

post-secret

today i read the post-secret, and saw one that sounds like something you would say to me...I know it's not yours...but it helps to think it might be.  Perhaps that's the whole point of Post-Secrets anyways.

click for post-secret.

on wine

nothing beats a good glass of wine, lovely food, and even lovelier conversation.

forehead kiss

last time you left me you kissed me on the forehead, hugged me and walked out my door.

i looked in the peep hole after you and saw you waiting for the elevator, part of me wanting to run out and get the answers I craved, and the other part stopping myself, stupidly believing I'd see you again.

Your last words to me were via text message - "I should have stayed, I wish I had."

That was almost 2 years ago.

I've not seen or heard from you since.

Only one question remains, brewed in a pile of sadness anger and hurt - Why?

I don't need the answer, but I want it.  Too bad, we don't always get what we want.

oh that love thing

love is love.

it's strange.  there are some people (very very few) - who can do just about anything to you and you'll just keep loving them.

they can tear you apart, push you down, betray you, hurt you, embarass you, hurt you, hurt you, hurt you, make you so unbelievably awfully sad you don't know what to do with yourself, and yet still you love.

you love them perhaps for who you remember they were.  and you miss that person still.

it's quite annoying actually, this sort of love.

i think i've reserved it only for one.  

and that one so does not deserve it.

but what can i do?

love is love.

and this kind of love is unique.

strange, undeservedly placed, and undoubtedly ridiculous to those who never felt it.

too tough no more

i'm not who i was.

in college i was this girl with a bit of a tom-boy flair - calling guys i liked 'dude' and lightly punching a boy's arm to be flirtatious.

now i'm the cutesy name caller.  recently spouting off terms like 'sweetie', 'love', 'dear', 'sexy', 'babe' in free flowing form - terms i gagged on in college and teased my friends about if i heard leave their lips - these words flow free.

i used to hate the 'oh i'm out with the boy' line girls would use when they had plans with their boyfriend - and now i catch myself using a similar term - 'gonna hang with boy' - feeling that deleting the 'the' makes it less absurd.

i'm the xoxo, smiling giddy, cutesy, hand holding opposite of what i was 4 years ago.

and i LOVE it.  

yay to emotions, exuding them, not being afraid of them, and not even worrying if the person to whom you're showering them onto is scared by them.

free love for all.  passionate love for some.

xoxo...dude. hah!