pretend ex-boyfriend

recently I went to a networking event.  It was a 2 day event where 95% of the crowd was in a serious relationship.  After a while of having the 'oh I'm single' talk - I got bored and began to embellish the truth.  In other words, I began to lie.

girl 1: yeah my boyfriend's pretty old-fashioned so I feel like if we move here we won't live together even though that makes no sense since he would be moving here for me.

me: haha oh man yeah...well that's kind of admirable that he's old-fashioned...rare to find

girl 1: true...so do you have a boyfriend too?

me:   oh... i did..but we ended it  (translation.."no i don't)

girl 1: oh man that sucks!

me: eh nah it's no big deal  (translation.."it's no big deal because it didn't really happen and i can't think of anything more clever to say")

girl 1: oh ok - were you the one who ended it?

me: nah..it was pretty much a mutual decision. (translation..."please refrain from asking me more questions as I am the world's worst liar)

After relaying this conversation full of lies to a friend I got the following response:

friend:  dude!  if you were making up a story, you could have at least come out being the one who ended it!!

me: oh..true.

so there you have it, I'm even nice to my fictional boyfriends...not wanting them to be seen as the dumped..but rather, having us both come out on top (or bottom, depending on how you look at it) as 'mutual dumpers'.

schizophrenia ensues.